Longtime So Cal resident Charles Carr is a nationally published journalist and playwright. His award-winning "Southpaw" column has appeared in college textbooks published by Macmillan, St. Martin's Press, Bedford, and others.
Liberals and conservatives: the difference
One of Ronald Reagan's favorite jokes went something like this: Two hikers are surprised when a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. The bear is gaining on them when one of the hikers suddenly stops, takes off his boots, and begins putting on a pair of running shoes. The other hiker shouts, "What do you think you're doing? You can't outrun a bear!" To which the other hiker replies, "Oh, I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!"
Actually, that's a very funny joke, but hearing it recently reminded me of a similar but darker sentiment I heard expressed between two attendees at a GOP conference when one quipped to the other, "Hey, all I want is what's mine (wink) and as much of the next guy's as I can get away with."
Both stories reveal a lot about conservatives' view of their place in society: success is often the result of taking advantage of another person's misfortune, ignorance, or naiveté, sometimes with the help of legislation and policies specifically designed to create wealth opportunities for those among us unfettered by conscience (e.g., the gutting of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the elimination of requirements that financial advisers disclose ethical conflicts to their clients, the crippling of the Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform Act).
Conservatives love to cite the old proverb, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." Commendable, but for too many of them, what they really want to do is to lease the man the fishing pole at a 29.99% APR amortized over 30 years with a drop-dead balloon payment and an extended warranty that has a toll-free support line that connects to nothing and no one.
At a town hall meeting I attended a while back, a man standing in line commented, "Some of these conservatives. All they want is money, money, money." Everyone initially agreed, then another lib noted, "Yeah, but wait a minute. I make plenty of money and don't apologize for it. This is America, that's our system. The difference is that when I have more than I need, I start looking around to see what I can do to help others."
The Dem version of Reagan's joke would not be a laugh riot. The punch line would go something like: "I'm putting on my running shoes so that I don't trip while carrying you on my back, assuming of course I have made the correct determination that judging by the position of the sun the bear is in a regressive energy cycle." So boring; overly complicated. But it's a complicated world out there that requires a little nuance and thought. Something righties don't worry too much about. Don't believe me? After a focus group held during the Cambridge Analytica brouhaha a few years back, a moderator commented: "The Republicans asked three questions. Five minutes, done. The Democrats asked two hours of questions."
Liberals ask people to move out of their comfort zones; conservatives tell them not to worry pretty little heads about it, ala George Bush after 9/11 telling the American public, "And I encourage you all to go shopping more." In other words: We got this. Trust us. Pretend nothing is wrong. And pick up some awesome mall bargains in the process. Of course, they didn't "got this." Not long after the attacks they declared war on Iraq, the full consequences of which will not be fully known for generations. But if you really must ask questions (possibly because that trickster, fate, has blocked your primrose-lined path with an annoying lib), the boys and girls in back have come up with umpteen reasons to believe you are indeed 100% correct in believing that things should remain exactly the way they have always have been. So go shopping.
Yes, it's true that we liberals can occasionally get over our skis when it comes to communicating our ideals to fellow citizens. We can leave them scratching their heads, saying, "Look, I hear you. And I really want to help, but I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails here. What are you going to do for me and mine?" As we move into this glorious new year, the way forward for Dems is to show voters there truly is a path to their own personal success that is also mindful of the rights of others and the environment.
If we can't do that, we won't long be in power.